I want to kill myself, I just can't take it much longer
I can't stand this life, can't stand my life. I have live for 20 years in self-isolation. I can't take this much longer. Society remind me off how lonely I am. I see groups of people all the time, and it make me feel like shit. At night I can't even sleep, I wet my bed with tears. I can't sit or sleep still, I feel sick. I keep dreaming of white girls, I want them in my arm, I want to hold their hand and kiss them.
I been in an accident last year that almost cost me my life, and I really wish it did. Why am I still alive? I could have die and be at peace.
I could be a white fat tall guy and get laid every night. I could be a complete jerk and A-hole and I would get all the white girls I want. Unfortunately the only white girls that like me are online and are either in different state or another country, and country music is not enough to keep me alive or sane. Because once I realize who sing it, it make me lonely. I just want a white girl, why is it so hard?
I wish I was white, I don't think I am continue living as an Asian male. I can't continue living this lonely. I don't care if I'm good looking or not, I'm still an Asian male that have to deal with a bunch of stereotype.
I don't get it? Why would a girl date an Ass hole just cause he white? I'm Asian, we suppose to be the most popular race of guy cause we treat girl like princess. I don't get it, it too much for me to handle right now. I wish I had a gun right now.
I could be the cutest Asian guy and still can't get those girls, but if I was fat, I have a better chance. I might go crazy one day and starting killing people, mostly white guy I can't stand. Things better change, my dark side is taking over me, and I don't know how long I can become sane or alive. I want to hang myself, run onto ongoing traffic, rape a girl so that I know what sex is like, go on a murder rampage, etc...
Im thinking Im going to get a TESOL certification (Teaching English) or something similar next summer. Hopefully having a Comp Sci degree will already give me some mobility and this can only add to that.
This was more or less inspired by a movie/documentary I saw yesterday called
"Thailand: Torn between two worlds" -
about a white guy who, after going there on a sex tour, thought about making it permanent.
My thinking is, you can teach english in many places around the world: Asia, South America, you name it. The pay won't be anything great, but the flexibility would, especially if you want to simmer in a different country to see if its better for you than the West.
Another thing Im considering doing is learning Spanish. I already speak english ofc, and I can't think of another language that has widely applicable value. It opens up most of South America, whereas German is restricted to Europe and French is mostly Africa (which I have no interest in).
South America has a lot of mixes of races and I wonder if I would fare better there (lets assume Im incel and not loveshy for the sake of argument cuz its simpler). Simply being able to pick and choose depending on what the real cause of my incel is. If its genetic, I can switch to a different race/place, if its cultural, I can go with my preferences.
I remember my brother in law and older sister about 6 (?) years ago went on holiday to Thailand - when they came back she gushed "Everyone is our size!". My brother-in-law is exactly my size (5'2), so its something to keep in mind as an option.
So ofc, if I disregard my preferences, the best place is South East Asia, as thats where Im from (genetically). But theres no 'universal language' to learn there (apart from english) so there are no steps to take right now. Plus Im not sure about living in dirt-poor countries (though this applies to S.America as well).
If you just spent several years getting a Comp Sci degree, why would you think about teaching english? Get a job based on your degree.
Spanish covers a lot of countries and Latin America varies racially, but it doesn't vary so much culturally. A short trip to anywhere in Latin America would quickly tell you if you like it. I personally think Latin America is a good place to look for a wife (which I did) but isn't the greatest place to live permanently.
This question should be prefaced with "all other things being equal". Given that, I would say that the 5'5" woman picks the 5'7" guy with a 10/10 face and the 5'9" woman picks the 5'11" guy with a 8.5/10 face.
I agree with Advanced except that I am not sure the number is exactly 6.5, probably more like 5. There isn't one trait that is more important than another. Traits are just combined with different weights. What men seem to do is to take their weakest trait and assume that that trait is the most important and overrides all the other traits. So Ardia picks height and Advanced picks facial attractiveness. But the truth is that all traits matter (and not just looks).