Question for fschmidt - Wives and tests

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Question for fschmidt - Wives and tests

Ardia
http://markymarksthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/10/ultimate-shit-test-by-fschmidt.html

Basically, no matter how you reduce it, this is asking to play a game with your SO. Perhaps a necessary one, but still a game.

Question: Does this apply in a 'CoAlpha' society as well? For eg. do the Hasidic Jews have to do it too?
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Re: Question for fschmidt - Wives and tests

fschmidt
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Ardia, how do you define playing a game?  Is saying "please" and "thank you" a game?  This is just behavior we learn to make our lives easier.  Most human interaction involves customizing ones behavior to get a wanted response.  I personally draw the line at dishonesty and insincerity.  I find it hard and distasteful to say things I don't believe and to act in ways I don't feel.  But my suggestion to not promise sexual fidelity doesn't require this.  The game playing needed to seduce women does require this, which is why I cannot seduce women and why I prefer marriage.

Does this apply in a 'CoAlpha' society as well?  Yes, I think so, this is about fundamental human nature.
Following the Old Testament, not evil modern culture
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Re: Question for fschmidt - Wives and tests

Ardia
This post was updated on .
Okay, I get that you are not lying when you say it.
However you do not actually go ahead and sleep with other women - even prostitutes. You would prefer to do it but you don't want to cause your wife pain so you don't, I view this clearly as a concession.

What would make me comfortable with it would be to consider it a threat. Not an evil threat, but a very real one that requires bad behavior on a wifes part first (aka she loses interest in you).

Im thinking one way I would feel comfortable doing it would be to explain my reasoning to my wife. That makes it "non-game like". And (hopefully) wont have any effect on the outcome. Especially so because if I don't, its seems like a lifelong manipulation.

Is that what you have done? Or is your reasoning hidden from your wife?
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Re: Question for fschmidt - Wives and tests

fschmidt
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I'm reluctant to discuss some this in a public forum, but anyway.  I originally refused to make this commitment simply because I wasn't sure if I could keep it.  I hate lying which makes me think very hard before making promises.  When I was younger, I wasn't sure if I could resist if some other woman came on to me.  But this never happened to me in my life, so was never an issue.  What I did notice over time is a definite connection between jealousy and sexual attraction in my wife, and I realized that not making this promise helps in that area.  So now of course I stick with my refusal.  I am completely open with my wife but I only discuss those things with her that interest her.  My theories on these topics interest her about as much as her cosmetics interest me.  The only real harm in explaining stuff like this to your wife is the high probability that you will bore her.  Theories and logical explanations never affect a woman's behavior.
Following the Old Testament, not evil modern culture