I'm pretty much a loner at this point in my life. I use to think my isolation was caused by my lack of social skills. But I've come to realize my instinctive flight to be alone is a gag reflex to a stinking culture. I now view myself as a dying breed. And I feel I'm surrounded by vultures, whom either want to eat me alive or convert me into a scavenger like them.
Over the last year I've been invited several times by co-workers to join in their feeding frenzies. These scavenger hunts usually involve ingesting as many narcotics as possible, consuming barrels of hard liquor and finding stray bitches to corpse hump in stupid clubs where if the brain dead drone of high decibel noise doesn't kill your hearing, you'll enjoy pointless thunderdome death matches with the ruling muscle bound idiot who makes turf wars over the bar.
To date I've rejected every invitation. I don't drink, smoke, ingest narcotics or get any thrill out of looking for a poptart bimbo to impress sex out of. I instead prefer a boring, stable and plain life. I don't think I'll ever be able to have any friends in this society. Just like the women in this society are a loss, the men for the most part should be written off too.
I hope one day I'll find men to make friendships with who aren't ashamed to proudly live a simpler life.
These "feeding frenzies" you talk about sound like fringe behavior to me. I even wonder if it's the truth. I used to be really into narcotics, but I never got an invitation to take them with people. I assumed because they're very illegal and you could really get busted for them, and they're a pain in the ass to get unless you know someone with a hookup. The one time I did get an invitation was from someone online, and I didn't follow it up because while the guy seemed nice, it didn't seem like the kind of thing I'd want to do with others, it's just weird to me, like watching porn with other guys.
But then, I was never that social anyway. And I had no idea that fights like that are routine in clubs.
I hope to find a group of friends that I actually enjoy being around. I've got friends to hang out with, and I'm grateful for that. They are nice, respectable people. But even so, hanging out with them is kind of excruciating because I don't feel much of a connection with them. I can't look them in the eye and tell them nonverbally that I'm on the same page because I'm not. I'm sure glad they seem to like having me around, I just wish it wasn't such a nerve-wracking pain in the ass to have their company as I can rarely follow their trains of thought.